I don’t know about you lovely brides, but I have noticed a lot of awkward comments from people since Andrew and I announced our engagment. I mean, people bring out the awkward turtles in themselves at weddings and funerals. What is it with some folks! Here are some awkward scenarios and/sentences I’ve heard.

1. Assumption that one is automatically invited to the wedding- The best way to handle this is to NOT SAY ANYTHING to them. At least that’s what I did. I didn’t say ‘yes you’re coming’ or ‘sorry you’re not on our list’. I just let the person ramble on while I just gave them a blank stare. Seriously, after a while they figured out for themselves what they were saying and stopped talking. If the person didn’t get the point, I would say, “We haven’t made a list yet.”

2. “Can I try on your ring?”  Whoa! Okay seriously! Did she just ask me if she could wear the ring that my fiance put on my finger? I don’t know how you ladies feel about this topic. Some might be okay with letting another woman wear their engagment ring – I’m not. I had someone ask me (4 people have asked me this questions) if she could try on my engagment ring. My answer was bluntly, ‘No.” One person actually asked me, “Why not?” So I told her: “This is the ring that my fiance got down on one knee with and asked me to marry him. As far as I’m concerned, the only woman who should be wearing this ring, is me. The day that man gets on one knee and asks you to marry him, is the day you will understand what I mean.”

*shudder*

I actually felt really violated when I was asked if she could try on my ring. It was as if she was asking to borrow  my fiance for that moment. Answer is N-O!

3. “I bet you’ll just tell your fiance what to do on the wedding day.” Whoa there! We’re the couple who plans EVERY.SINGLE.DETAIL about our wedding T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R. From the colors of the flowers, to the groomsmen’s outfits, to the bridesmaids outfits, to the cake, to the venue, songlist to the DJ, ceremony logistics…every single thing about our wedding will be done by our mutual decision. Heck, *HE* is the one who found the perfect brooch for our cake! I guess some men don’t partake in the wedding planning process, so people are quick to stereotype that the woman is doing everything or that all a man has to do is show up.If this happens to you, just smile and politely say, ‘No we do everything together.”

4. “Can I bring a date?” Seems like no matter how many times you put Mr. John Smith on the envelope, he wants to add a ‘plus one’ on his own to bring to your wedding. Come on guests! Etiquettes please! We research proper wedding etiquette for our guests. Why can’t our guests do this for us? Guests cannot bring a date if the invite obviously only has one name on it! We were bombarded with that question from our single friends after we sent out the Save-the-Dates. My answer was always the same: We’re not having guests bring dates to the wedding unless the person is their husband/wife or fiance(e). In other words: We are not paying for someone’s flavor of the month!

5. Who to invite? Now the time has come to make the guest list. You can’t ignore it. It has to be done. Our friend Ruben called us and said, “Look, Kate and I just went through the task of making a guest list and we were almost in therapy because of it so I just want you to know that just because I’m inviting you to my wedding, doesn’t mean you have to invite me to yours.” How nice! A friend who knows what it’s like. Question is whether or not to invite or not to invite your third cousin twice removed from your father’s side. Here’s the formula that we used for our guest list:

Immediate Family

Extended Family

College Friends

Other Friends/Out of State Friends

Local Friends

Hope that helps you break down your guest list.

P.S. Ruben and Kate are invited to our wedding.

6. To drink or not to drink – I would stay up tossing and turning wondering how I was going to tell my strictly non-alcoholic Muslim family that there’s a 3-hour open bar at our wedding. Yikes! We asked if the reception could be non-alcoholic but the per-head cost includes the open bar. The venue could care less if people drink or not, but it will be there. I finally grew a backbone and told my mother who, surprisingly, handled it very well. As long as people weren’t drunk or treating the reception as a night club and respected their beliefs, she was okay with it. Of course, later she asked me if everyone could hold off on the alcohol until my Dad had left the reception. I told her it was going to be impossible for me to control the actions of 150 guests for one person. The open bar has everything from soda, to coke to iced tea. I told her that if she wants it to be this way, then he couldn’t walk into any restaurant in the United States as there is alcohol served everywhere. This is still a sticky subject but I’m hoping that as time comes for the reception, my mother will be more relaxed about the issue.

As you lovely brides already know, the awkward turtle moments will be there with you from the minute you are engaged to the day of your wedding, and even afterwards, for the rest of your life. All you can do is smile, take a deep breath, give a polite answer which won’t hurt the person’s feelings too much and just hope that he/she stops talking really soon.