My husband didn’t have a bachelor party per se. Three or four of his friends did take him out to the local TGIFridays for congrats and drinks, but it wasn’t anything outrageous (at least I don’t think so). I am aware however that bachelor parties can be a source of stress for brides, especially if they’re anything like the typical, traditional bachelor parties we see in movies. Think strippers, big bottles of Ciroc/Grey Goose/Hennessey and stacks of single dollar bills. I’m not sure if I can even speak on this issue because I don’t have any experience in this area, but here’s how I imagine I would handle it.

I would…

1. Be Easy – Don’t trip out! That’s the first mistake that a lot of women make whether it’s regarding a bachelor party or something else that you don’t agree with. Keep a level head about this one and you’ll be sure to gain some cool points. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. After you gain control of your emotions, you should…

2. Let Him Have the Party – I’m not really using the word ‘let’ as if he has to ask your permission (he’s marrying you and not his mother), but if he runs it by you or it comes up, don’t fight him on it. Bachelor parties are a part of the experience so you can’t blame him for wanting to have one. BUT, just because he’s well within his rights to have one doesn’t mean that it has to be the type of party that ends up humiliating you. So you should…

2. Set Your Expectations/Limits – After you’ve had some time to think about it (seriously, take some time! If this really bothers you, you might want to speak to someone with a level head who you can trust), ask him if you can have a minute of his time to express your feelings regarding his bachelor party. In an honest, CALM and caring way, tell him what your threshold is for the wild and crazy-ness that can ensue. While doing so, don’t use command words. For example, instead of saying “Do not hire a stripper!” say “The idea of you having a stripper makes me uneasy” and let him marinate over your concern for a while. If he loves you, he’s not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. And even if he’s pressured into having a stripper or his boys hire one without him knowing, your sweet, little, caring voice will ring in his head the entire time. =) If he’s still dumbfounded over what else he’s supposed to do at a bachelor party, you should…

3. Offer Bachelor Party Alternatives – Bachelor parties don’t have to be all encompassing of what we first think of when we hear ‘bachelor party’. We live in a new age. There’s plenty of other ways a groom can celebrate his last days of independence other than in the traditional. Suggest that he and his boys take a Mens Day Trip to the woods or the mountains. What man wouldn’t love to go somewhere where he can play paintball, hike, white water raft and roll around in the mud fighting over a football? Or he can grab some beers and hot dogs, go to a concert and do the whole tailgating thing. Perhaps he can do a guys-only road trip and explore wacky sites along the way. A few more suggestions would be to have a pool tournament, spend time playing video games and eating junk food with the fellas, run around an amusement park or head to the beach for some water sports. There are tons of options! And all of them are fun! After you’ve graciously offered your genius, last but not least, you should…

4. Be Easy! – This is worth repeating. No one likes a bridezilla so don’t be one. Even if things don’t go how you would want them to your attitude about the whole thing will make or break you. If he’s marrying you, he loves you. Keep that in the forefront of your mind at all times.

If you have any further bachelor party concerns or issues, leave a comment or hit me up at jendayi@districtbrideguide.com and I’d love to offer my suggestions. Have a good weekend!

jendayi